Fun day off??????????

Okay so I chose not to write anything for one whole day and I get all these e-mails saying hey why didn’t you write anything, are you okay, what’s going on. All of you who never e-mail me or never wanna go out are suddenly my best friends again ….gez….. thanks a lot everyone. However, I couldn’t think of anything to write about and when I got home I was toooooo tired.

Nonetheless, my long week is looking…..well hmmmm…I’m not too sure about that. Last night I thought it was going to start off really well….but I got the heave hoe or is that leave hoe after about an hour or so ....so today I’m not sure if the drive over was worth my time yet or the gas quite yet. Today I did nothing…well that is a lie. I just finished getting dirty on my knees in the shower…..and get your minds out of the gutter. I was really just scrubbing down the shower with Vim and for any of those of you who have used it…you really can’t wear clothes it just has a bad habit of getting everywhere….oh well my tub is sooooo clean you could eat in it. Okay while rereading that I know it sounds sexual..but really I was JUST cleaning my bath tub…..I swear……!!!

So I’m sitting here trying to think of any ole topic that I can talk about that isn’t kinky or perverted. But that’s just not me so why stop the fun. Ohhhhh someone just sent me a top 10 list on instant turn-ons for men. Thank you skippy….So lets see what they are.

10. She has an accent
Okay I have to agree it is pretty hot when a guy has an accent. Usually everything perks up a little when you hear a sexy accient

9. She admits to loving sex
You think this would have place a little higher in the list! However, I don’t think it has the same affect on women. I say this since we already know that guys love sex we don’t have to ask you.

8. She drives a motorcycle
Really?? When I think of the typical woman who drives a motorcycle (in my mind at least) I see the whole butch lesbian type. Maybe that is just here in Saskatoon??
Nonetheless, I agree. That is a huge turn on….but only if the guy looks good on the bike…nothing like seeing a hot little ass on a bike while stopped at a red light…and the leather…hmmmm…okay I must move onto the next one!!

7. She has a sexy voice
Well considering I work on the phones I think I have to agree with that. Its always nice to hear a sexy voice at the other end of the phone…make you imagine a sexy body on the other side of the phone…..however that rarely seems to be the case!! However, in person its not the same…well let me think….hmmm…..no its still pretty damn hot if a guy has a nice sexy voice

6. She has nice breast
Okay that is kind of a no brainer isn’t it? It doesn’t go both ways…well that’s a lie. If I see a guy who has bigger breast then me……which believe you me doesn’t take much…..it’s a turn off. Where as a guy with nice pecks is very ummmy!

5, She has a nice ass
yet another no brainer. “Butt” I have to agree if I see a nice ass on a guy I tend to forget what I’m doing….

4. She looks like a porn star
You would think that would be a turn off. I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy and been all like omg he looks just like a porn star…wow I’m soo turned on!!! Not that I have seen a lot of porn, but the guys are never that great looking. Maybe I need to start renting better porn.

3. She has full lips
See I thought this would be more of a number 9 than a three. Maybe its cause the lips make the guy think that she would give better head. Interesting…I do have full lips…. I’ll have to ask around. I think girls like guys with nice lips but not full ones cause then they are a little girly on a guy.

2. She talks dirty
Well or course who doesn’t get turned on by dirty talk!!!

1.You catch a peek of her undies.
I can’t believe that this the number one turn on for guys! Well that’s a lie. I guess that most guys don’t even have to know the girl and catch a glimpse of a thong above the belt line or a bra under the shear top. However, I can’t recall ever seeing a guys underwear and being all like…mmmm..mmm.mmm that is hot…..unless it had my name on it or something wild I’m likely not going to get all excited!

Okay i'm not sure how to end this blog so i'll just ........

Peter Pan vs Ryan

Sooooo I was thinking that I might not have anything to write about tonight….and then I saw this website at work www.pixyland.org/peterpan/petersFashionPage Like OMG how insane is this dude……and why is he wearing that stuff… it’s just ummm like totally insane!!!!! And the clothes that he calls his everyday wear….still strange….and the hair…omg the hair…..Spanky and I were actually speechless….. and I’m not sure if that has ever happened b4. However, the dude is tall…..sooooo hmmmmm maybe not so bad. Cause I am on this tall streak lately….welll…. shoot maybe not….. Damn it….okay with this guy I’m back on. Nonetheless, I am thinking…flamer….maybe I’m wrong….but I can’t think of any straight guy that would do that.
Don’t get me wrong I’m all for guys dressing up….as like…..ummmm batman…..and well just about anything else….no donkeys please….but some guy dressing up as robin hood and prancing around just sooooo not hot…..even if you were drunk out of your mind and you really needed to get some and that was all there was I wouldn’t…..kinda like my friend Ryan…..freaky

Okay so I just talked to my whorish friend Ryan. Oh I don’t even think he is a whore….more like an uber whore….or well I don’t know…just a dirty whorish little 5'2" guy……I’m sorry sweetie but like I told you on the phone….its gross….. and as I said I’m sooooooo going to write about it.i had to throw the height in just because i was bugging you about it tonight....oops .And after you told me about your 3 day drug fest with some loose underage gal……totally no respect for ya. Sooooo Anyone who has “slept” with 26 people….is just sick. I say people cause I’m sure that there were one or two guys in there just for fun. And “slept” because we all know that guys usually lie about it a little….still you sick little perv.
When I was younger my parents told me to never do drugs. I will of course tell my children…in the future the same thing and then use Ryan as an example. It will go something like this….. Alrighty kiddies you see this little shit here…. I’ll hold up an 8x10 which will be his actual size…. which might scare them right away…. very little guy…..and then say he did lots of drugs and ended up sleeping with a lot of nasty kitty…got craps…slept with his friends sloppy seconds ended up marring the robin hood guy from the link up above…….oh Ryan you do make me laugh ya little bastard.

Okay so the question goes out to all you reading this......who would you choose.....personlly i'm kinda thinking the donkey....and that says a lot

You want me to put the doughnut where??

You want me to put the doughnut where??

So today at work Spanky and I were reading Jason Mulgrews blog….the one where he responds to the sex tips from men in Cosmo. It was fucking hilarious, which is just soooooo much more funny then just hilarious. I know, I’m a dork shut up.

It wasn’t really Jason’s response to the tips that were soooo funny as much as the fact that some of the things that got these “polled” guys (hmmm interesting word choice) came up with were ….well just common sense. For example one guy says that that watching a woman masturbate in front of him turns him on. Really?? I would have never guessed…it’s just so …crazy. Cause I totally thought I was the only one that got enjoyment out of me doing that.

Another one I liked is some dude says that when he is having sex he likes the woman to be really vocal so he knows she is enjoying it. lol ummm yeah makes sense...lol Oh well Vini Vici Vidi……..which is really the only thing that I learnt in Latin that I feel has a practical use…when it comes to sex…..and what does that have to do with anything?? I don’t know just thought of it and wrote it.

The one where the guy says that while the gal is on top she should reach down and feel her lower abs so she can feel him inside of her…. Okay sounds good. But I don’t think my one pack counts as real abs and really like how huge is this guy that he is up there that far…..hmmmm……sorry got distracted seeing how far my one pack extends.

However, the best tip by far is the one where the guy’s wants a doughnut placed on his dick and have the gal eat it. I’m thinking of every doughnut that I have ever seen and you know what?? They have really small holes!!!! How would that be a turn on to know that your man’s penis is skinny enough to shove though a doughnut hole???….oh yeah baby that’s hot…..not so good. Okay I just tried to find a pic of that. However there are none!! But there are a lot of sites where people talk about it. It must be fun.
Spanky suggested onion rings…….hmmmmm hot greasy onion rings and a sweaty, salty, maybe latex or flavoured lube penis….now that’s something that I just can not wait to taste! Do you think it would still be okay to dip it in Ketchup? No wonder we have been collected ketchup packets at work……talk about being prepared!!!!

Ohhhhhhh I almost forgot the one about the guy who like to have his armpits licked. Now not that there is anything wrong with that. But have you ever put deodorant on your tongue b4? I have. Why…well….. hmmmm…well why do I do a lot of things that I do….just because I’m up to no good. However, it tends to kinda dry your tongue out. And if you are freaky enough to have me lick your armpits I’m sure I’ll eventually be sucking your cock and I’ll have no spit. So really is it worth it? However, my tongue won’t be sweating and there won’t be any of those embarrassing shirt stains…..okay what and the hell does that mean……oh well.

Okay I think I have to start thinking of other things to write about cause it is starting to look like I’m obsessed with sex. Okay I wont lie…I am….. . However, I am blaming it on Regina. Shit two hot waiters that still have me thinking over time and football stadium full of nice ass and football players in hot little tight uniforms…….mmmmmmmm. It seemed like there was something I wanted to jump everywhere I turned. Except for at B.P’s when I walked in there there was this table of ohhhhh so nice men.... three to be exact and considering I was meeting a co-worker there that I had never met.... I almost got excited…. two single men for hayley to have fun with……and then it turned out that it was the wrong table and I had to go talk to the freakishly tall boring guy in the dark corner….shit…just my luck. Oh well at least TAK got turned on by the guy……and I think that just might be the first time that has ever happened. I don’t think she has ever masturbated, but she really liked him so way to go John I think you might be her first fantasy. Poor girl….poor poor poor girl

What is Kinky??

Okay so the week-end was pretty good the Riders won 42-15 which was almost what i said....42-10 it was i guessed...... which is kinda strange......but it was a very good game nonetheless.......lets hope the rest of the season is as good.

Okay so what was i going to write about today....hmmmmmm oh yeah on Friday evening while sitting at the last straw in Regina which is just about the coolest place i've ever been besides like ummmmmm the trash can outside of DC a friend and I got into a conversation about what we thought was kinky. So we got out the pen and paper and wrote down K I N K Y ! ! and listed what each letter in the word represented to us on the kinky scale...... and shit once you start thinking about it there is a lot of crazy ass shit out there.

So here is goes........What K I N K Y !! Is to us
the top row is the sick stuff
and
the bottom is the really really sick stuff

K Popsicle up the vagina or up the ass

Tossing the salad

I Lit Cuban Cigar up the V or A

Having sex in a church

N S and M

Multi Cocks

K inserting weird objects (ie trees)

Sex parties + 1 of the "kinky" acts & on video

Y Golden Showers

Hot Carl

! Dog shitting in your mouth

Beastiality

! Family shitting in your mouth

Incest

So there ya go....... I'm quit esure that the list could go on for like......ummmmmm ever...but that is all that we came up a with at that time. I don't think I have ever veer that far from kin and I don't ever want to go past the word it self...That's just sick sick sick............ Of the people that have seen this.........spanky........who i think is in the same boat as me......BK........who i'm guessing comes way b4 the word itself.......Literally.......lol......too funny and TAK who i think is like sooooooooo far removed from the work kinky that i'm sure she doesn't even know what most of it means poor girl.

And i plan on getting feedback from eeeeeeveryone i know so keep tuned in and i'm sure the list will grow ;)

okay to bed

There sure is some sick shit out there!!!

Okay i know i should be getting my stuff together and packing for the week-end getaway to Regina and trying to clean my place but i got tired and the chair at my pc looked lonely and i've never filled this our b4 so i figured why the heck not it could be fun...but fun for who not really me i guess cause really all the typing with two hands not that much fun i would try it with one but that takes to long and i would likely forget what i was doing....oops. So i was thinking what can i write in here that my family and friends and see that i'm not going to end up getting draggggged to church and have to say about a million hail mary's for and help out lepers for like...ummmmmm forever.....but my friends understand my craziness some more than others...haydee if you read this after tonight at work....omg....that was too funny and my family on here consists on cousins and i know what most of you have been up to lately so you keep things hush hush and so will I.
So what now...hmmmmm well whats on my mind......omg i just looked at this site that a friend told me about and omg it is sooooooo sick http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hot-Carl&r=s&pos=1 for those who wanna know....like who does shit like that.....i'll admit i've done some kinky ass things but never have i been hey let my lay under this glass table and you poop on it???? or been like hey i really have to go.... soooooo honey look out here it comes. Like honestly what kinda meed up drugs or mental state do you have to been to either take or receive that.....and why is it since we...and you know who you are came up with that it's been everywhere i look....that God no ones brought it up to me......i would still go with the other over that anytime.....ewwwwwwwwww. And what is with those people comments.....if that ever happened to me i promise there would be body parts missing and the fun ones that are hard to live with out....lol.......just sick sick sick
However you all know my luck it like all the perverts come litteraly out of the wood work and are around to do something sick when i'm there......do i have a sign somewhere that says hey you know that little voice that says you shouldn't do that in public.....do it arround this girl she'll love it......i'll be honest it always makes for a good story.....but really its just so shocking sometimes. We'll see what happens in Regina this week-end....maybe i'll be in the parking lot at the big box mall and there will be a bunch of naked sky divers...not that i wold be upset with that....kinda kinky.......but with my luck they'll all be part of the hot carl sky diving while shitting club or the hermaphodite mile high club........darn it anyhow
Okay back to work....i'll let ya all know if the skies were clear in Regina or if it rained freaks